Personal Growth Archives - TOOWi MEDIA
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Category Archives for Personal Growth

Heartbreak is good.

Good is forever growing around us and through us. This is easy to believe when life feels free and easy. But when not?… We’re often quick to imagine that the good has someone gone away. Poof, as if we’ve fallen through an unholy trap door. However (and thankfully) the good keeps coming anyway. The grittiest life challenges are perhaps our best opportunities to befriend and master the art of thinking, feeling, and believing which is like the holy trinity of learning to manifest an amazing life. Goodness flows and will forever grow even when when we’re not in the space to see it clearly. Thank goodness, or we’d all be in deep doo doo.

What’s goodness? Well, we could say it’s simply a reflection of the good we desire in our lives. For example, loving companionship is goodness. Passion is goodness, even when it’s the kind reserved for hat collecting and monster truck rallies. Sharing the joys of friendship and goofy belly laughter is goodness, like the good-hearted kind vs the snarky stuff that aims to harm. Throughout our lives, however, goodness goes underground to nurture the seeds of something amazing in our lives. Why? Because as the goodness knows. It’s informed by the bigger part of ourselves and the universe. As so as it matures, so do we. Essentially we haven’t made it to the right place to receive it. We’re preparing to be a good match through all that we’re dealing with. It’s not that we’re not worthy enough to receive it, we’re always worthy, inherently so. It’s simply a matter of readiness.

Imagine that we prepare and grow goodness like a gardener does. During the difficult times, especially those curve balls we could call the unexpected challenges in our lives, or the “unthinkables” we get a jolt. We’re sent sideways and are forced to reimagine, revision, and activate new levels of purpose. These unexpected challenges force us to go to work in our gardens. We get to till our gardens, turning the soil to mix in all the new stuff that’s been evoked through our unexpected challenges. When we’ve gotten over the hump, and have processed what’s happened and understand how these changes will ultimately enhance and enrich our lives, we on the good side of grace again. We’re aligned with our inherent goodness again. And that’s the all the magic that’s needed to rendezvous with the good the Universe has been preparing to greet us as we move forward in the world. The good news here is the goodness we receive is often a bit more impressive than what we’ve expected. Now, it may seem like a leap to believe that the Universe is blazing a trail ahead of us to create a space for goodness. Why would the Universe care at all? But all you have to do is look at history and the way life on our planet has evolved. Good grows as a rule. Even the worst of challenges create a path for something much more wonderful and magical to emerge. For instance I’m writing to a person who’s ancestor billions of years ago was a one-celled organism. And trillions of years before that?… A frisky dust particle and shard of light. Goodness grows, by default.

There’s an important consideration here. If we allow ourselves to stay stuck wallowing in the disappointments of our challenges for too long we may miss the opportunity that’s unfolding beneath our feet. If we don’t learn to see these challenges as part of the process and solution, that is. With the right attitude, heart-set, mindset, vulnerability, and vision that’s needed to truly change, the road will rise to greet us. This requires a radical sort of faith, a sort of sacred trust that whatever we’ve encountered, no matter how temporarily painful or dumbfounding, is preparing a place for a greater expression of good to flower in our lives and the lives of others. Goodness, in a way, first makes a home within our hearts. We can begin to create that space with the right thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and feelings.

The question of the day is how can your master all this stuff, i.e. your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that when you’re serious pain? In times of great transition, like deaths, divorce, and the pain of broken relationships this task can seem downright impossible. But it is possible if you let in the right perspective. With the right context we can change life itself. We can manifest a life of purpose, meaning, creativity and power. We can create the energy needed to step into a life we truly desire. And we can rendevous with all the goodness that’s needed to take us there. I talked about this incredibly powerful and vulnerable space for revisioning your life on The QH3 podcast. If you’re going through a divorce or breakup or loss, you might enjoy listening. I also have a group and webinar I’ve launched for those interested in getting some practical guidelines to heal and revision your life. You can find them both on the group page at my website at www.toowimedia.com
I’ve also included the group’s introductory video below:

And here’s the episode on QH3

 

Grace to fill sails today and everyday!

Letting Go Is An Act of Respect

I sat with this one for awhile before I pushed go.

I think one of the harder steps I’ve had to take in my own life journey is to learn to let go. Every bone in my body vibrates saying, “help others, serve, share,and hold the light up!” And if they can’t do it for themselves, do it for them!” Probably because I’ve felt this need to have a rescuer so powerfully too. However I’ve come to see it’s not my job to do that for others. As a partner, healer, Creator, and human being.  My job is to do my damnedest to hold the right space for others to discover who they want to be. Letting go of the idea that others are helpless to create the change they need is an act of respect. By doing so I honor the Creator within myself and them. So, in a sense, letting go is a sacred agreement. It’s the space where allow the possibility for healing and a real collaboration can begin.

When we meet as equals we are within our strength. We open to the gate for re-connection, new adventures, and the dance of love to grow -if it’s meant to be. We can learn, listen, prepare, and then leap into the changes that are needed. If no change can be made, we respect that too. Why? Because allowing is the space where true love grows. And all souls are here to grow.

So practice the art of just being today. And let others be as well. And do you best to hold a space of love and respect.

Meditations for Soulful Citizens

So, I’ve been thinking about ways I can offer more to our growing community.  Not to just add content for content’s sake, but offering something to help you continue your growth conversations. 2018 is my year to step forward as a healer, so I thought adding meditations could be a good fit.

But then I thought, there’s millions of blogs, vlogs, and podcasts offering daily reflections. Which means most of you have more choices than you know what to do with there. Then I thought about, “soulful meditations. ” I poked around and saw there’s less stuff that puts our daily challenges into the perspective of the larger Soul Journey.  So the light went on. This felt like it could be valuable and worth the effort.

So I’m calling these Meditations for Soulful Citizens. I’ll be offering reflections around the idea of Soulful Success, and that here is the idea that ultimate success comes from meaningful connection with our highest identify and purpose.

So I just published the first of what I hope will be many meditations to come. I’m targeting daily publication, however I’m not going to be too rigid about that. I’ve discovered ultimatums are great for crazy making. So I’ll aim high and do my best to get them often. I’m imagining them as something you’ll listen to during your daily commute or after a morning stretch, run, or waking up with a cup of or coffee. 

Here’s the text and link to the first meditation on acceptance. 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN ->> http://bit.ly/2CwaD91

ACCEPTANCE

Today you’ll walk into a world of differences. All of us will. But beyond those difference lies a wealth of positive energy. We can tap into it if we learn to see past the differences and connect based upon similarities. This is a choice that moves us into a world of contrasts. When we see things in terms of contrasts, like people for instance, we’re able to see that we’re all essentially shades of the same thing. So this step can kick off a powerful process of change.

We can call this the process of acceptance. Learning to accept the differences we see around us helps us on the inside too. It triggers inward growth, or self-acceptance. The more we accept about others and our world, the more we grow.  We literally expand, as we gain resources through new relationships. And we gain more access to the resources available to us as souls. Our consciousness expands too, so lots of spiritual goodies come into focus.  So we experience gains equally, both in our waking and spiritual life. 

So here’s a suggestion to put it into practice:

Think about the soulful people and organizations you admire. Be discerning and try not to judge. Look to see, not seek differences. What did you discover? Perhaps compassion, unity, and tolerance? Innovation? Diversity? If so, these are all byproducts of acceptance. Now take a look at yourself, lovingly. What do you see?… Remember, try not to judge. Awakening your highest potential doesn’t have to be a struggle, learning to exercise compassion is key. So start by looking at yourself with kindness and without judgement.  Whatever you discover, practice acceptance. The path to your soul is a road paved through self-acceptance.  

Here’s a Meditation For Soulful Citizens episode where we wrestle with this issue of moving past judgement. I’ve also included a video too!  

 

Return of Soul

So, I officially relaunched the Quantum Health, Healing, and Happiness Podcast, otherwise known as QH3 (Q-H CUBED). You can listen to the announcement ->>HERE<<- if you’d like. 

I’d launched this show back in 2012 to explore the work of folks pushing the envelope in holistic healing. An emerging field some call Quantum healing.  But I ended up falling in love with the art of podcasting! I loved everything about it, soup to nuts, from the technology to the marketing. I am creative soul, but for some reason didn’t see this coming. It hadn’t expected it, but I’d gotten my first glimpse into my opportunity in the media world.

At that point I was serving as a faculty member at a small university called The Graduate Institute.

It was a nontraditional role, more of a mentorship than a professorship, and the school was filled with atypical routes of study, such as Consciousness Studies, Ecotherapy, and Integrative Health and Healing. I’d been working in an agency settings as a therapist for a few years and knew it would not be enough. I’d felt limited, as therapy is not healing and I’d been growing as healer for years. There’s alot of barriers to work around in traditional therapy settings. I’m also eternally curious. So when I discovered the Institute I made a plan and to get myself in the door. When I put my mind to something I tend to deliver. Within a few weeks I was on the faculty staff. What’s funny is I’d by driving past the institute for years, while working at agency just a few miles down the road. It was an adventurous structure, resembling a Frank Loyd Wright kind of thing, but I’d never looked into it. I figured it was some far out architecture firm or office space. It was a good illustration of the principle that great opportunities are often hide in plain sight.  So I was totally flabbergasted with I saw the names attached, as I’d been following some of their work for years, people like Carolynn Myss, Bernie Seigel, Rupert Sheldrake, and Brian Luke Seaward. I knew I had to be there. 

So with most passion projects, my time there ended up being both challenging and rewarding. I was balancing a private practice, mostly full-time employment at a treatment center, as well as an ambitious research project on the side. The research was inspired by Rupert Sheldrake’s work, and a Psychologist practicing out of Argosy University named John Klimo. It began as an innocent investigation into what was happening with channeling, but evolved into something much bigger. I basically was knocked out by the quality of information coming through, and it the end my colleague and I ended up developing a process that resembled Gary Weiss’s past life regression work, somewhat. Except we had a trauma release process tossed in. My colleague and I called it “threading.” I’ll likely write more about that experience later in this blog.

So being at the Grad Institute turned out to be incredibly valuable. I got to spread my wings as a facilitator, teacher, and researcher, and also got to share the stage with some of these greats I mentioned. Not only was I expanding my skill-set, I was growing and testing my abilities alongside these leaders in the field. I gained a alotl of confidence there, as many of my deeper instincts about service and healing was validated by people I respected. I couldn’t have gotten that level of confirmation anywhere else. 

Eventually I transitioned out the institute and moved into a demanding professional role with less freedom. I then dropped the QH3 podcast.  After years working as a working faciltator in a corporate setting, I made a plan to exit and launch my own brand. This process was years in the making. When I finally launched I started production on a show that I thought would be better suited for mainstream consumption. This turned out to be a huge assumption, and I learned a ton about marketing your message in the first 6 months. I was antiquated with the fact that life liked to provide reminders when I chose to stray too far from my healing path. So I ran into more than a few brick walls in the first year. Or so it seemed.

The big aha came during and after my son was hospitalized due to the rapid onset of RSV and Pneumonia. That was a major soul shaker, but adding to the difficulty was my revisiting the realities of today’s medical system.  I am infinitely grateful for what we can do with modern medicine, and the progress that science grants us.  But hospital. I was reminded that there’s still I plenty of work to do. So, I decided right then I’d do my part to help keep the conversation about holistic health and healing going. As I see it, there’s always room for more soul in science. So that’s the story why QH3 is now live.

For those of you interested in interviews, I just finished up the video intro for my interview with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. I was lucky enough to share some time with him in Mexico while co-facilitating a wonderful excursion for clients. It’s a short interview with some fun storytelling thrown in. While editing I was reminded of how powerful a family tradition can be when shared. 50 years or so ago Miguel’s father took a huge leap by sharing the wisdom of the Toltecs with the world. Which by the way, wasn’t well received by the Toltec community. But thanks to his courage, the world was changed. I find it fascinating that Miguel is now teaching a system of thinking that’s as equally relevant today as it was almost 6,000 years ago! It’s simply magical, and a great illustration of the timelessness of true wisdom. Wisdom, to me, seems the science of all sciences. It’s principles predate the best of what we see in culture. It seems our modern sciences are confirming more of that each day, but there’s still some catching up to do. It points to the fact that “truth” has a life of its own. And that our culture is hungry for more than information and ideas, we’re drowning in those. We hunger for wisdom within the marketplace. So I found myself inspired, and very excited about the direction I’m heading with my brand. I know there’s a place to bring soul to the science of achievement.  People seem to want it, and this seems the right time and place.

So, click  ->>INTERVIEW<<– and you’ll be whisked to the QH3 Youtube page. You can watch the interview there.   

Alright, that’s the end of this spin.

Stay soulful citizens!

Here’s a link to my interviews with world-renowned healer Don Miguel Ruiz Jr and Shaman Jon Rassmussen if you want to check them out. I also tossed in the Youtube video of my chat with Miguel. I hope you enjoy!  

The Master Plan.

Ok, so this is going to be a post about learning to listen to life’s subtle and not so subtle messages on the path to purpose. And why I now think things like master plans are bullshit. 

So this past week I’ve faced some stuff. While I’ve been busily building and revising and my “master plan,” life continues doing what it does best. Teach. And whip up challenges. Powerful ones.

The latest?…

My son Gus just got of the ICU. I actually began writing this post from the hospital’s Starbucks.  A week ago he caught a bug from school, and then as story often goes with kids, almost immediately he got popped with something worse. Next thing we know we’re at the hospital staring at a diagnosis Pneumonia and RSV – a dreaded respiratory virus that tends to hit kids with Down Syndrome hard.

And he got hit hard. 

When we checked in he just couldn’t breath. It was terrifying. At one point, when things were sketchy, he shot straight up in bed and said, “tunnel.” I’ve never heard him say that word before, nor did I know he even knew it. I about had a heart attack. Outside I may have looked calm, but inside I’m doing cartwheels and thinking, “do not go towards the f$&! light! Not yet!”

So, yeah. Nothing like life’s hardest moments to get you thinking. And this situation had me doing loads of it – especially on what I thought I knew about life.

Turns out I didn’t know nearly enough to see this crisis coming. Definitely not in my plans. 

Interestingly, I’d been reflecting on the practicality of things like life plans the week before Gus got sick. I’d come across and old journal where I’d been reflecting on one of the more difficult talks I had with a spiritual mentor. She’d taken the liberty to dissect my habit of planning. While I’m a big picture guy and not very good at planning, I’m always looking for ways to improve.

So paraphrasing a bit, she said, “Life is about learning to let go. Things go much easier this way. We create things like plans because we believe they can keep us safe. But plans can not.”

I remember not being impressed with her statement at all. First off, I felt like this statement was just wrong. It seemed to me that humanity was built on the backs on the world’s best planners. Imagine Rome being built without a plan, or Civil Rights happening without the genius oversight of Martin Luther King. Or Steve Jobs winging it. I mean, how the hell would we have gotten to the moon without a solid plan? So I reacted, inwardly of course, not being courageous enough to rebuke her outright. I thought, “If I don’t plan, what am I left with?!” I could actually answer that: I’d be stuck with the stinking unknown. I saw plans like torches we carried into the night. And isn’t it helpful to have light when it’s dark outside and you don’t know where you’re going? 

Curiously, I found myself chewing on my mentor’s feedback while I was knee deep in my son’s medical crisis.

I remember staring into his swollen blue eyes as he lay in that hospital bed.  I was suffering over this issue and wondered, “how will I ever be able to keep him safe? Or my family? Or me?” This only got worse when I thought of the financial hopscotch I was playing as business owner. So there in that stuffy ICU room with bells and buzzers buzzing, I went round and around. I was totally demoralized. I’m not sure how I got there, but I had an insight. I realized my mentor wasn’t criticizing planning. She was inviting me to reflect on the nature of true safety.  

What becomes painfully obvious when you’re a parent stuck considering the mortality of your child, is how helpless you truly are. While I could influence certain things, I had no control over the ultimate outcome.  As a healer and therapist I saw this situation play out all the time. A person can do all the “right” things, but still not get a good result. But my familiarity with the issue didn’t make it easier to swallow.  As a father I found it horrifying. Here I was totally powerless at a time when my son needed me the most. And as my son’s health spiraled out of control, the more I spiraled too. So, there tiptoeing Christmas, I was revisited by the ghost of a very inconvenient truth. Life is bigger than all of us. And I could clearly see that no matter how thorough or well I executed my plans they would always play second fiddle to life’s Master Plan; if you can call the unpredictability of life such a thing.  And I choose too. 

I knew if I was to regain any sense of sanity in this situation I had to let go of the delusion that I could control anything. The outcome was beyond me. And it was equally beyond the professionals working with him too. As trained experts they certainly had better odds at making a difference, more influence, but ultimately they had no more control over the outcome than I did. The outcome just hung like some mysterious mist of possibility just beyond our reach. No matter how much we desired and worked towards a positive outcome, we’d have to ride the situation out.  

So I after a few more cerebral spins, I realized if I wanted to create a real sense of safety, I’d best not base it in the hope for a positive outcome. Or in faith either, as I do believe and have faith in the good of all things.  While I do believe they are the wisest investments, especially in times of crisis, neither could offer me the level of security I needed. My son could die, and our relationship could go away.

Eventually I allowed myself to look beyond the outcome.  And I realized that the magic existed in not having control of his life. The truth was I didn’t need control or a guarantee.  All I needed was love.  My promise to never stop loving my son was enough to keep us connected, and foerver.  It’s hard to explain, but in that moment I finally understood that love was a sacred bond, a promise and the surest guarantee of safety I’d ever get.

 

To me this seemed like a miracle to me! How is it that a force as powerful as love was entirely within my control and life wasn’t?… 

While this situation was not one I’d choose to relive, I’d gotten a powerful insight. I could see that love is a gift that transcends all obstacles, barriers, and time.  So like my mentor may have been suggesting; a plan can’t guarantee safety. Only love can.  And while I knew this, intellectually, my understanding kind of shifted from understanding to knowing.  I now knew my relationship with my son was forever safe.

I’m reminded of a familiar bible verse from my childhood, 

“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. -Corinthians 13:13

Now that I’m back to my life, I’ve had to take a much deeper look at how I’m allowing love to inform all areas of my life. Including my business.  I realized I’d sacrificed a large portion of my work as a healer in my efforts to build and launch my brand, for almost a year now. And while I’ve been missing that connection to people and the work, I’ve for some reason been playing down my role as a healer in my brand.  I have reasons, of course, but it’s really been because of fear.  So, in 2018 I’ve decided I’m going to allow my healing work to take center stage in my brand, alongside my other work.  And I’m going to allow myself to reopen my relationships there.  If I want love to flow freely, I can’t hide. 

So for those of you that are wondering about the status of my son. Gus has been discharged and appears to be on his way to a full recovery. Man are we grateful. Here’s Gus enjoying a hula hooping Santa on Christmas Day. 

 

Here’s an episode that features my interview with thought leader and TEDX’r Marcus Aurelius Anderson. He talks about his journey back from paralysis, which is powerful talk about the road back to health. I’ve also included the video for good measure!  

Stop Hitchhiking & Become A Traveler

Even the best days can be ruined by one powerfully crappy assumption.

Why?..

Life is lived through our lenses. Or as one of my past spiritual mentor’s put it, we create our experience through our perspectives. So more or less our worlds are built through our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and then actions. So while LIFE may present opportunities galore – we may miss out on them because we simply haven’t created a place for them. Put another way, we don’t see them as possible. So  there’s somethings to watch out for if we want to create a remarkable life, or at least remarkable to our own standards.  Staying out of the trap of negative thinking, whipping up despair, blame and world-bashing, or when down allowing ourselves to stay stuck in hopelessness. If we hope to change our experience we have to change our perspective. And this isn’t magical thinking, this is work. We’re not always going to feel great. This means we have to persist and maintain our vision for life even when we don’t feel like it. Over time, our life is likely to follow.

So get out of your head and into your heart.  Don’t overthink.  Nurture courage, hope, success, compassion, and creativity. Be mindful of the challenges but don’t obsess over the things you can’t control. And when you do go to your thoughts, make good use of them by creating solutions from a place of promise. There are many roads in life. Some lead to barking failures and others success. So your world isn’t really created in outcomes. It’s created through your perspectives. But the decision to focus on the good no matter what the outcome expands your opportunities. With this choice you can see more and be more.  You can make the leap from being a hitchhiker in life who has to wait around for the right opportunity to show up; To A Great Traveler who creates his world with each step along the way.

Want to listen to an episode about this? Click here to listen to my podcast 

Crush It Vs Create It

What do you think?… Is life isn’t about taking, crushing, mincing, dicing, destroying, and conquering?

Or is life about learning how to participate? Challenges, as difficult as they may be, ultimately provide an opportunity to learn how to become better collaborators with life. And collaboration doesn’t work all too well when we’re crushing and competing. It’s a CREATORS game.

Creation takes a ton of work. The demands are high. The requirements placed on those who desire to make a mark as creators are high. That’s why so many try the easy way – by taking, destroying, conquering, etc. To become a CREATOR you must learn how to reach and share value. Value is within – and there’s no forcing it out. The “IT” of course is your PURPOSE. Your passion. The unique dream that only you can realize, create, and share with the world. It’s something the world desperately needs.

So before stepping outside into the world at the start of your day, ask yourself “How can I honor life today by sharing my best me? 

Want to listen to an episode about this? Click here to listen to my podcast 

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